Oldtown, Detective Bannon’s city (as he claimed it), was packed with immigrants, both recent and generations back, all settlers of humanity who had nowhere else to go. Those that escaped never returned for fear of being sucked back in to this world where dreams and hopes wither away as dust.
There were bright spots where a flower grows from a crack in the sidewalk but the only people that got ahead were those connected to the mayor and city council. The rest of the people wished some of that largess would trickle down to them. A lucky few received the rain while the rest just got wet.
Captain’s Daily Briefing was meant to give updates and progress from the department before he had to face the chief. “Bannon,” the captain barked, “what about last night?”
Bannon relayed the previous night’s case: the male body, evidence washed away in the rain and the scene contaminated by the crowd, and the neighborhood canvas came up with no witnesses. “I’m waiting for the coroner’s report and crime lab.” He left out the theft of the satchel. “Something doesn’t feel right about this one, Cap’n.”
“Your ‘Spidey-sense’ tingling again?” That came from a voice in the crowd.
“How many cases has your gut solved, Junior?” Bannon replied. “Junior’s” family was connected with the mayor and everyone suspected he made detective a little too quickly.
“Bannon, I want you and Junior to work together on this one. As you just pointed out, he needs experience.” The nickname had stuck and Junior hated Bannon for that. An office pool was made that day on how long the partnership would last.
Back at their desks, Bannon obsessed over the contents of that satchel, handwritten words in journals, the discs and memory sticks, and he now remembered seeing a book with a title he couldn’t recall. Some of the words in the journals were crossed through by someone’s editing. “I only had it a few seconds…” The phone ringing brought him back to the moment. “Dammit! Thanks, Doc.” The coroner’s nickname changed based on the situation.
“What was that?” Junior asked.
“Our dead guy had no heart.”
Part One: The Dead Need no Words
Linked at Poets and Storytellers United: Friday Writings #2: Always Learning
A lucky few received the rain while the rest just got wet.
ReplyDeleteloved it! gonna check in every friday to see how this grumpy vet and rich rookie combo cracks the case
Thank you for your kind words.
DeleteI'm working on solving the case myself! ;)
We'll see where it takes us.
Curiouser and curiouser.
ReplyDeleteThis is taking a life of its own, Rosemary. Thank you. I hope to weave a good tale for you all.
DeleteMaybe we should include film noir among the list of poetic forms since it has its own conventions and rules and all film noirs seem to rhyme with one another.
ReplyDeleteI kind of stepped into it with part one didn't I? ;)
DeleteI don't intend to go too far into a world of clichés like the buddy cop movies. I want this a bit "different."
Thank you, Graham and please keep me honest!
Addictive reading! great storytelling .
ReplyDelete"A lucky few received the rain while the rest just got wet.", hmm, this sounds familiar for most of us. :)
The story reminds me of the sci-fi film thriller In The Shadow of the Moon.
I modified a crude saying that my dad always had.
DeleteI hadn't heard of that show and found a trailer. It was heading that direction but a little different. (I hope)
Thank you for your kind words and the movie
Great story
ReplyDeleteGood Friday
Much💛love
I hope this goes in a direction everyone can like.
DeleteI hope today and your next is a great day, Gillena. Thank you
I’m looking forward to more, much more. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteI hope I don't disappoint. Thanks for the kind words, Helen.
DeleteA cool detective story. I enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteThank you, I'm hoping you'll enjoy the next episodes.
DeleteYou enjoy keeping us at the edge of our seats, don't you?
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy the way you are introducing the characters, how you paint a picture of their personalities in a few words. I can't wait to learn more about the coroner... and all hers/his names.
I'm trying my best to keep it interesting, yes.
DeleteI may have to make another series with the detective.
Thank you, Magaly. Yours and everyone's responses are appreciated.
A lucky few received the rain while the rest just got wet.
ReplyDeleteWith lines like this one and a body without a heart... got to keep reading!!!
That is a modified saying from my dad. Your kind words are appreciated. Thank you
Deletegood to see your story progressing, enjoyed very much
ReplyDeleteThank you, Phillip. Next one is coming up and I hope you like it.
DeleteI love the detail about the office pool. Together with the dialog it gives us a really nice picture of who Junior and Bannon are.
ReplyDelete